I no longer have a license plate plugging my college, but I had to stand firm to avoid having “In God We Trust” plates instead. I am not making a word of this up.

I tried to renew-by-mail last March, but my entire package was returned because I failed to send the authorization form for my college plate. Clearly my fault. .

I dug through my files and found a form from my college. I sent the whole package back, but in three weeks it was returned again. This time it contained a handwritten post-it note from D.A. in Winchester, IN, explaining that my form needed an official signature and stamp. It even said “2nd time sent back!” with an exclamation point.

I didn’t really want to bother asking my college for a new form—and my plates were expired by now—so I went to my local license branch with all the paperwork, including the post-it note, and a letter from my college thanking me for my 2007 donation. Still no good. They got me in quick--my BMV branch runs very efficiently—but the friendly and polite clerk was adamant that I needed the signature and stamp.

I said, “well, I don’t want to mess with it any more. Please just give me a regular plate for that car.” She then asked, “Do you want one of the old plates or the new ones that say, “In God We Trust?” I was taken aback, but just wanted to get done. I said, “Regular please.”

The she asked, “Do you just want 08 stickers for your other plates or do you want the new “In God We Trust” for those?” I said, “Definitely regular on all of them.”

Then she asked, “Are you sure? The ‘In God We Trust’ plates don’t cost any extra.” I said, “No thank you. Absolutely, definitely, regular plates please.” I had the same feeling you get at McDonald’s when they ask, “do you want fries with that?” She gave me my plate and stickers and I left.

So what happened here?

First, Indiana did not get the $15 I was prepared to spend for my college plate even though I’d had the plate for two years.

Second, Indiana took a hard line on my specialty plate. D.A. in Winchester and the nice clerk in Columbus were just doing their jobs because I clearly did not have the right form. Yes, I had the plate two years already, had a form with the college name printed on it, and had a receipt for my 2007 donation, but it was not their fault I didn’t have the proper authorization.

Third, and most importantly, I was gently directed toward the new “In God We Trust” plates. Not only was I asked three times, but I was assured they would not cost extra.

I have been amazed at how many of the blue “In God We Trust” plates I see around town. Now I know why. Other specialty plates require an added layer of bureaucracy and cost $15. These plates have no fee and, incredibly, you don’t even have to ask for them. They are offered by BMV employees as “the new Indiana plates.” They’re not just free, they’re promoted.

As I got up to leave, an elderly man sat down across from the clerk next to mine. He said, “I need to renew my plates.” She asked, “Do you just want 08 stickers for your old plates or do you want the new “In God We Trust plates?” He said, “just the stickers.” She said, “Oh, I see you have an ‘Environment’ plate. Do you have the authorization form?”

He headed home to get it.

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