The other day, I posted a story from the New York Times (UPDATE: link to previous story added) about a friend of mine, Dan Pinello, and his long-time partner, who had challenged New York State's refusal to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples by appearing at the Clerk's office and applying for a marriage license.

Dan has now shared with me a letter sent to the Editor of the Times, with a copy to him. In an era when the term "family values" has been hijacked by precisely the people who lack them, the letter is a heartwarming affirmation of what that term OUGHT to mean. Here it is:

May 12, 2008
To the Editor of the New York Times:

Our family was blessed to celebrate three weddings in just 22 months. We have four wonderful children. Our oldest son, Benjamin, married the love of his life on a beach in San Diego. He asked his youngest brother, Jacob, to be his best man. A few months later our second son, Joshua, married his beloved in the backyard of an old mansion in St. Paul. Jacob was also his best man. When our daughter, Britta, married the man she loved, she didn't have a maid of honor. She had a man of honor and it was her brother, Jacob.

Jacob stood by each of his siblings on the most important day of their lives. He signed the certificates that made their unions legal knowing full well he is denied the gift of marriage. Jacob is gay.

As a mom, it breaks my heart. As a citizen of this country, it makes me angry.

We live in a country where all people should be able to have the freedom to marry the love of their lives. I wish I could give Daniel R. Pinello and Lee Nissensohn a hug of gratitude for demanding to be treated equally. I pray that one day they get a marriage license instead of a summons.
We need the gay community to follow the lead of Daniel and Lee and demand the right to marry. We need people ready to take a stand even if it means they will receive a summons to appear in court instead of a license to wed their beloved. This is the civil rights issue of our day. It will take battles like theirs happening across this country to see the day of equality dawn.

Jacob has not found his beloved yet. When he does, it will be a man. I can't wait to meet that person and welcome him into the Reitan family. I will be ready to do all I can to see their love recognized and affirmed in marriage.
As a mom who has been arrested seven times for civil disobedience, I know there is nothing more profound than taking a stand with such confidence of spirit and heartfelt desire that you are willing to face arrest rather than back down. We need mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles ready to take these stands for equality. We need every ally to step forward and demand equality in marriage for this country's gay community. We need to do it for the gay community but even more for our country. We must remember, injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. This is an issue of justice.

I hope the New York Times celebrates Daniel and Lee's wedding with a spread in the paper. I hope it happens real soon. I will cry tears of joy for them.

Randi Reitan
Eden Prairie, Minnesota

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