American Values Alliance | Practical voice for progressive valuesAmerican Values Alliance | Practical voice for progressive valuesGood morn or evening, friends. Lalita Amos here and like The Blog Snob (who, along with new AVA contributor MelissaT inspired this post), I am an authentic American Negro. I'm descended from freemen and slaves, slave bosses and slave owners, and the Native people who gave them sanctuary, family and hope. I say all this to offer my credentials, my Certificate of Authenticity, so you know I'm qualified to speak for at least one Black person: me. Now, so you don't get confused, that doesn't mean I'm suggesting that I am authorized to speak for all the Negroes of the Great Diaspora (settle!), but as a wise, old white guy (Carnegie, Zigler, Bozo? I'm not sure and don't care to look) said: "I've lived this life and I have the right to talk about it." The current debate over the use of the "n-Word" (that's "nigger," in case you're confused) has become so nettlesome that it has set the flower of fecund, white womanhood tearfully a-twitter.
Pay close attention, people. This is terribly important and very few of my ilk will say this, even in sotto voce.
The "n-word?" Use it. You have my express permission. Let me break this down.
I usually don't watch The View. The idea that a revolving group of imitation Sistah-friends can sit in an ersatz living room talking about mostly nothing but babies and menopause and triffling shit gives me the dry heavie geebies.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck hates "nigger," so much so, in fact, that when her attempts to tell two grown Black women not to use it weren't immediately met with gladsome sighs and "thank you ever so for liftin' that heavy burden, Liz, we's a-feeling better now," she began to sob. And I, the teetotaler, began thinking about the location of the nearest liquor store.
Co-hostesses, Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd tried, instead, to check that chick with the usual: "You don't understand, Elisabeth. We're Black and looking through the white prism into the Black experience is shortsighted, blah, blah, fucking blah." Frankly, watching these women try to explain the value of a word that has simply no equal in the English lexicon was otherworldly. See, Jesse Jackson, in a video clip that sent the good people at Fox News into a masturbatory orgy, was overheard saying Senator Obama deserved an involuntary sex change for "talking down to Black people." The women of Da View were "discussing" it. Pointlessly and poorly.
To put this into ghastly perspective, Reverend Jackson is on record for not being a friend of the "n-word." Here's Jesse holding forth about the use of the n-word, the h-word-- shit! "nigger," "hoe," and "bitch" (those euphemisms are tiresome) after having successfully lobbied for Don Imus' firing over use of the same a year or so ago. Lest Fox let us forget, here's part of Jesse and an unknown guest (who's gone into a Negro Protection Program. and will never be seen again) discussing the merits of emasculating Senator Obama and the latest revelation: Rev. Jackson suggested Obama was "talking down to Black people, telling niggahs how to behave." Guess Reverend Jesse is the "n-word's" Superfriend: "Power of...hypocritical irony!"
In a written apology, Irreverent Jackson said:
"I am deeply saddened and distressed by the pain and sorrow that I have caused as a result of my hurtful words. I apologize again to Senator Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, their children as well as to the American public," Jackson said in a written statement. "There really is no justification for my comments and I hope that the Obama family and the American public will forgive me. I also pray that we, as a nation, can move on to address the real issues that affect the American people."
Huh? As if the swirling, sucking eddy of psycho-ontological despair that is the state of our ability to discuss race relations isn't a "real issue" that's effecting the American people. Pish! And, yeah, I said "pish!"
Truth is, as a people, we Black folk have got nothing on white folks, who gave us such perjoratives as (avert your eyes) prick, cunt, bitch, kike, wop, dago, gooks, jungle bunny, sand niggers (appropriate for use in sunny Baghdad), jiggaboo (my all-time favorite), porch monkey, wetback and the like. The best race and gender related comeback we have? Whitey, cracker (and crackah or cracka) and hoe (which should be disqualified as a riff on an existing favorite). To my fevered mind, the issue isn't getting Black people to stop using "nigger." It's getting white people to use their considerable verbal prowess in more wholesome ways. To break that down for you, in case there's any confusion: Stop making this crazy, fucked up, insulting shit up and, maybe, we won't have it to use...on anybody.
Now, the truth is Black people were just as offended by Irrelevant Jackson's use of "nigger" in person-oriented public parlance as anybody else (including Juicy Fruit Hasselbeck). For most of us, being called "nigger" will get you sent to the trauma center, in separate, tidy little Ziploc bags. I don't call people "nigger" and my Momma, a believer in the tenet "it's not what you're called, but what you answer to," taught me not to respond to "nigger." "That's not what I named you," she'd say after listening to me regale her with tales of white kids at school trying to wreck my day. Aside from the ample Mother Wit she was blessed with (Mother and Father of the Universe keep you, dear lady), she was later a brilliant psychotherapist and knew that the word had the fetid stink of internalized self-hatred on it. But she was quick to point out that, as a corollary to her statement above, "there will be those who will try to call you 'nigger' and others who will just treat you like one." To her, and to me, name calling is on a sunnier circle of hell than race-baited ill treatment. Still horrible, though.
To be clear here, I'm not, on the other hand, afraid to use the word...to turn it over and examine it...to place it in history and society, but never to use it on anyone (still thinking about "Negro, please," though). But I'm not going to pretend it's an anacronism to be assigned to the reliquary. It just won't stay there.
Back to the Goldberg-Hasselbeck smackdown. Elisabeth really took up her rant then Whoopi suggested that we have different world experiences and, therefore, live in different worlds. "It isn't balanced, and we would like it to be, but you have to understand, you have to listen to the fact that we're telling you there are issues, there are huge problems that still affect us," Whoopi said. "We don't live in different worlds," was Liz' thoughtful and heated reply. Explain to me why even brand spanking new immigrants when asked, will tell you they may have it rough, "but at least they're not Black" or why North Africans, darker than Whoopi will ever be, will sue to be listed as Caucasian (!) on census forms.
More from Elizabeth (watch the video and the Young Turk's take on it):
"When we live in a world where pop culture then uses that term, and we're trying to get to a place where we feel like we're in the same place, where we feel like we're in the same world...how are we supposed to then move forward if we keep using terms that bring back that pain?"
Ever so troubling is what Elisabeth is pointing to: whilte kids like hers are/will be taking the worst out of the American subculture and addiing it to the crazy quilt which is whitespeak.
This from GQ:
Other words say the same thing as bro but don't stimulate the same level of derision. The king of slang pronouns, of course, is dude, which now competes with the F-word for its sheer number of meanings and uses. ... You can get away with man, but steer clear of my man. Careful with pal and partner, you could sound like you walked off the set of Mayberry RFD. The word guy sounds precious. Buddy can be smarmy. You still hear lots of suburban white guys coopting gangsta speak like dawg, nigga, and homey, and they always come off moronic doing so. Brah is lame when used by anyone but a real Hawaiian. Holmes? For some reason, white guys can use it but black guys can't. Do not even think about home slice. One of the best things a guy can call another guy, I think, is bitch. 'Sup, bitch? It's cool. ... If you coach high school football, go ahead and use chief. Otherwise, no.
At this point, I find myself considering the merits of Everclear as a means to "take me away," but there's been a recurrent battlecry throughout segments of the white world of late: "If rappers and poets and plain, ole Black peeps on the street (Note to white people: drop peeps, cause you've ruined it, too) can use "nigger" then I don't understand why I can't." Which brings me back to my main point: You can. In fact, I'd like to urge you to use "nigger" and its legion derivatives in every way you can--adjective, noun and Lolly-Lolly-Lolly-get-your-adverb-here. Try it out on as many people as you can and in as many circumstances as you can. Start with work and church, oh and see what happens after you call your boss or priest--or better yet, your momma--"My niggah."
I'll be watching and eating popcorn and calling for a mop.
What whites fail to understand about "nigger" is that its an "as is/no warranty" kind of word. They don't see the beat-downs that happen on playgrounds and parking lots when we use it on each other. They fail to recognize that, aside from a perverted view of "what's cool," those Blacks found using it publicly are considered diss-grace-full (gracefully full of "diss?").
But still, all that being said, have at it. Enjoy.
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Now if can get some of the talking heads talking straight about issues this way.
Sending out tire guages, Com'on!
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Lalita L. Amos, CRC
http://www.totalteamsolutions.com
http://totalteam.blogspot.com
I loved his interview with Nas last night. Since he couldn't use the N-word he just said "Regga[i]n". I cracked up....
"Reggan please!"
Not being one to "hide my light" (or any of my true failings) under a bushel basket, I'd be honored if you'd pass this post along. I'm also putting together the logistics on the discussion I mentioned last week. Given the calls and emails I've received, I'm definitely going to be getting people together. Here's a preview so you can put it in your calendar:
Saturday, 2 August 2008
11 am - ?
Paradise Bakery (on N. Meridian)
I'll put together a better email and will be sending it out so people can RSVP. There will also be links to the CNN site so people who can't watch it at the televised time can find it and watch at their leisure. Me? I think it's going to take me several passes to get through it all.
FYI
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Lalita L. Amos, CRC
http://www.totalteamsolutions.com
http://totalteam.blogspot.com
I'm with you, Melissa: the perjoratives we used as children were so much more, um, fragrant, and to the point. Oh, and tell your Hubster that he can use Sambo, but he won't be guaranteed a "ghetto pass" for that beat down he's likely to get!
(grin)
________
Lalita L. Amos, CRC
http://www.totalteamsolutions.com
http://totalteam.blogspot.com
Excellent post Lalita. I thoroughly enjoyed it and may just have to pass it along.
Heh- I just posted something related to the Jesse Jackson drama earlier today: Racialicious Weighs in on Jesse Jackson's use of the N Word.
It's a shame Carmen didn't get longer to speak. (and kudos to Deborah as well although I'm not familiar with her work...) Then again if CNN would have really been interested in the issue and not updating the world on K-Fed you and Deborah might have actually made progress in furthering a larger "intelligent, in depth discussion" and not fueling the (ratings garnering) controversy CNN was seeking over a specific incident that will cease to be news before we know it. Although I did pass your contribution to this most recent discussion along to some friends and it's produced a fantastic discussion that I've found to be quite enlightening and productive.
Even though I'm well aware this latest occurrence in the news is, in all likelihood, not going to start a larger, mainstream, open and honest dialogue (as has long been needed) about racial and class disparities in our society. It has added to the ever growing consciousness and discussion that exists among those who do attempt to pursue a deeper (and occasionally painfully difficult) understanding and awareness of the perspectives and beliefs which exist outside our own personal experiences.
This is one of those issues that isn't going to disappear the less it is discussed (nor is the word in question), and the more it's brushed aside as "their" problem and not "ours". I am reminded of Margret's oft quoted, "Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has."
I take comfort in the knowledge that I am well aware there is a (not necessarily small) but thoroughly dedicated group of people in this country that are working tirelessly to change standards of respect & acceptance of diversity as well as widespread socially held perceptions and beliefs about those outside our own small social bubble for future generations. The group and the voices within it are growing in both mass and density and it can only continue to expand and evolve.
EDIT: I enjoyed Latoya's article as well.
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Just another note to add to the above one: Nigger, Bitch, Fag, Queer, Cunt, Ho(e?) (and it's much loved sister 'ho(e)-bag'), Slut.... (pick your poison) to me are words that primarily ignorant, close-minded people use when one can't come up with anything intelligent to contribute to a conversation that questions something they believe. I have more respect for someone who can call me out on what I say and believe intelligently than someone that calls me a bitch (or one of the myriad of other terms I've had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of over the years.)
Eh~ Seems trite to call someone any of the other beautifully derogatory expletives in our lexicon when I could intelligently call someone out on something that can cut them even deeper and have a longer lasting effect (and- *gasp* might even make them think!) In its current form it's all too often used as a sad, sad "grown-up" (albeit not any more mature) version of "poopy-head". If words are weapons then those are flimsy ones at best to have in your arsenal.
(oh and I was just telling my ever-so- humerous Mexican husband about your post and he asks if "Sambo" is permissable as well. He said he's gotten permission from two of his black co-workers to call them that- just not in front of anyone else.)
You're so "not right"...
Jerame- I missed that piece on NPR today. (I usually only have it on in the car, but more and more frequently I keep thinking I should just keep it on in the background to listen to when I'm at home.) You know what might be interesting as hell? I'd like to see someone interview people on simple things like they discussed on the show- take the getting pulled over by the cops example. Ask 20 completely random people of varying races and ages what kind of discussions they had with their parents or they have had with their own children without explaining why you want to know so as to get a pretty unbiased, un-elaborated story and just compile them all in a book. I'd be willing to bet you could keep the racial details anonymous and most people reading would be able to readily pick out which stories were by minorities and which weren't.
You're right, a lot of white folks just don't have the reference points to understand a lot of this. On NPR today, I was listening to News & Notes (the daily African-American oriented programming on NPR) and they have a regular segment (I forget the exact name, but it's 3 run-of-the-mill black mothers and one guest mom). Today's guest mom was Soledad O'Brien.
They were talking about the CNN Black in America series and I tuned in as one of the women was describing, with a very graphic example, of how being black colors your experience.
She used going shopping as an example. She said she knew when she walked into a high-end store that she got an automatic plain-clothes "escort" and that she was regularly watched. She went on to describe how, even something as simple as putting on some lipstick (something almost any woman - and some men - can relate to) and how she would consciously take 3 steps out to an aisle, dig through her purse for the lipstick, put on the lipstick, then step back to the racks so as not to raise suspicion.
As she said, how can experiences like these NOT color your perception of life in America?
That led to a conversation about how every kid in America (regardless of race, color, creed, etc) gets a talk about how to deal with getting stopped by the cops (on the street, in the car, etc) and how she had a conversation with a white mother about this. The white mother had difficulty understanding how the black conversation was different.
Her response: because the black parents are telling their kids how NOT to get killed. It's not about being respectful to authority, it's about not getting shot because you did something stupid. White kids don't have that kind of conversation with their parents. It was noted that the white parents who were part of that conversation agreed that they had vastly different conversations with their kids about the exact same thing.
It was a really good segment because it gave me, a white guy, a very clear story I could understand and relate to. The way they told their tales was gripping, educational, and while harsh, not accusatorial. It just was. I didn't feel like I was being blamed for the state of affairs, more that I was being made aware. That really helped me absorb the message and, while I can't necessarily sympathize, it made it much easier to empathize.
Coming from a poor, uneducated (neither parent graduated high school, first in my family to graduate college) southern Indiana family, I can at least draw some distant corollaries to these stories because I have my OWN disconnect with rich/upper-class/well-to-do whites.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think we need more real conversation like the one I heard on NPR to happen. I love the wit and the snark - I'm a big fan of these vehicles to tell stories and I use them frequently. Don't get me wrong, I just don't think it's moving the ball forward.
What I'd like to see is some discussion on how to fix it. Where do we go, then? I don't want to live in a world where a woman gets tailed in a store just because she's black. Anyone can be a thief and being black certainly doesn't make you look shifty or like a thief. How do we rid ourselves of that mentality?
I think the women on NPR were starting that discussion. They were telling stories that white people can understand in a way that wasn't off-putting. These are the kinds of stories I think people like Hasselbeck need to be hearing, but instead they get the "You just don't understand" or the snark and bite of ripping her to shreds.
Her reality is warped - she's led a very white privileged life. Is that her fault? I'm not defending her (I find her disgusting and can't stand to hear her speak) but I can empathize with coming from a totally different world and seeing things differently.
It's true we white folk cannot understand what it's like to be black in America, but that doesn't mean we can't learn, listen, and try to make a difference to make things better. It does seem (in her own warped way) that Hasselbeck at least wants to try to work on the issues.
I think it works best to think of these things like children. In terms of racial awareness, Hasselbeck is a toddler. She's ready to explore the world, but stumbles when trying to take more than a few steps at a time.
Yeah, she says some ridiculous crap - just see how much she got the gays worked up when Rosie was on. But she comes from a place of ignorance that isn't completely her fault.
I think if Whoopi and Sheppard set up some time for Hasselbeck to see and experience black life in America first hand, they'd get the right sort of tears for affecting change instead of the type that shut down the conversation.
I love your wit . . . I will be sitting with you for the next episodes of "Where are they now" as people begin to use it (shhhhhh . . . "N" word). I even think that (the N-word) is funny . . .
What's up my N-word?
That's my N-word!
All my N-words in the house say "hooooo."
N-word please!
That N-word over there ain't S-word.
Did you see that N-word do that?
N-words! There goes the neighborhood
Gotta bring some chicken wings and watermelon for the party!
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